|
Previous Page Comment
November 2005
They're Playing Our Song!
The Nude
Café's Liz
Egger discovers the nudist's theme song, and suggests a few alternative
titles.
 There
is a song— more of a hymn really — much loved by the English, yet probably
almost unknown to the rest of the world.
It’s
a rousing, inspirational piece, which soars and dips through a series of
peaks and troughs and crescendos, and it never fails to bring a lump to
my throat whenever I sing it.
It’s
a favourite at English weddings and funerals, it’s sung in schools and
churches throughout the land, it closes the annual conferences of all
three main political parties, and is the theme tune of the national
Womens’ Institute.
На интернет-проекте нашей фирмы купить квартиру в италии недорого за 1089 - заходите
It’s
called “Jerusalem”, and many English people—including yours
truly— would like to adopt it as an alternative national anthem.
Apparently,
it’s also the anthem of the British nudist movement, which was news to
me, as I didn’t know we had one. (An anthem I mean. Not a British
nudist movement. I knew we had one of those.)
This
was revealed in a television programme a few weeks ago in which a group
of naturists were featured standing nude in a field, singing the song in
that self-conscious way that English people have …
-
When they are asked to sing in front of an audience,
... and especially ...
-
When they are also asked to stand mother-naked in a freezing field
in front of an audience.
Now,
just what is going on here?
As a
born and bred English girl, I too love the song, and at every
opportunity will croak it out with as much gusto as this aging old
larynx can manage.
But a nudist anthem? I don’t think so.
For
one thing, do we even need
an anthem? I mean, when would we sing it?
Every
time we get naked? Hmmm…not really practical is it?
Down
at he club? Come on now—we don’t want to frighten the wildlife or
annoy the neighbours.
At
sauna / swim nights? Have you heard
the acoustics at most municipal swimming baths? Try singing the high
bits and see what I mean.
OK
then. How about a rendition at the end of the British Naturism AGM?
Ahhh
… a much more sensible idea.
The
only problem is that he song itself doesn’t really lend itself to the
nudist ethos, which espouses peace and harmony with nature. Lyrics such
as ….” bring me my chariot of fire…” and “ …nor
shall my sword sleep in my hand…” are surely a trifle too
strident and assertive to represent a gentle organization like ours.
Hassle free private Ontario cottage rentals in Canada.
The
Womens’ Institute, yes. But
the nudist movement, definitely not.
So, if
we’re going to have an anthem, we’re going to have to look
elsewhere.
With
this in mind I set off on a mission to find a suitable national nudist
song. I canvassed everybody in the office, plus a few reps and service
people who were unfortunate enough to pop in whilst I was undertaking my
research. I phoned up nudist friends and acquaintances. I even bullied
my old brain cells into action and came up with a few suggestions of my
own (God, the things I have to do!)
coldplay mp3 download, and all his.
Finally,
after much effort, numerous cups of coffee and a lot of censorship (you’d
be surprised how many people suggested a famous song containing the word
“embarrassed” in the title, which they changed to “I’m bare
assed!. Not at all suitable for a respectable movement like ours—and
that was one of the cleaner ones!)” we came up with a short list,
which we then rated according to popularity.
So
here then, for the first time, presented in the time-honoured way in reverse order, is The Nude
Café's
top-twenty nudist
songs.
|
Rank
|
Song Title
|
Artist, or with apologies to
|
| 20 |
Naked
|
Avril Lavigne
|
| 19 |
Totally Nude |
Talking Heads
|
| 18 |
In the Flesh |
Blondie
|
| 17 |
Let
the Sun Shine In
|
5th Dimension
|
|
16
|
Fancy, No Pants
|
Floyd Cramer
|
| 15 |
Leap up and down wave your knickers in the air
|
St Cecilia
|
| 14 |
The Bare Necessities
|
From "Jungle Book"
|
| 13 |
Dancing In The Stark
|
Bruce Springsteen
|
| 12 |
No Material Girl
|
Madonna
|
| 11 |
Lost my Pants
|
Bonnie Tyler
|
| 10 |
Things Can Only Get Barer
|
D'Ream
|
| 9 |
Everyone’s Gone For a Moon
|
Jonathan King
|
| 8 |
You
Can Leave Your Hat On
|
Joe Cocker
|
| 7 |
Oh Them Golden Strippers
|
Traditional
|
| 6 |
Thanks For The Mammary
|
Shirley Ross and others
|
| 5 |
Take My Dress Away
|
Berlin
|
| 4 |
Nobody Does It Barer
|
Carly Simon
|
| 3 |
I’ll Be Seeing You In All The Old Familiar
Places
|
Bing Crosby
|
| 2 |
I’m in the Nude for Love
|
Frank Sinatra
|
|
And now , fellow nudists , it’s time to reveal the winner of our poll.
Ladies and Gentlemen … ( drum-roll)… boys and
girls, lets have a big round of applause for the song voted
number one contender for the title of Best British Nudist
Anthem… My friends, I give you…
|
| 1 |
Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Barer!
|
Written by Irving Berlin, sung by many.
|
I think we should get it recorded straight away, and I'm
already putting together a close harmony quartet to perform it. The only
trouble is, they refuse to appear in the nude promotion video I'm
planning.
Any volunteers please?
Regards
Liz
liz@thenudecafe.com
This article may not be published, copied, printed
transmitted or otherwise used without the written consent
of the author.)
|
