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Strut your Fluff!
The Nude
Café's Liz
Egger muses on pubes.
( First appeared Feb 2003)
 I
don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but pubic hair - especially female pubic
hair - is big news these days.
No
longer a private part of one’s anatomy, the pubes have become part of
one’s fashion ensemble for the great, the good and the glitterati.
It
is openly discussed in a way that would have been unthinkable even five
years ago. It is expensively styled, used as a fashion, advertising and
political statement, and is the centre of a growing, million dollar
industry.
As
a naturist gal, I’d never given it much thought. It was something we
all had, to a greater or lesser degree, and which, like the rest of
one’s body, needed to be kept clean, sleek and well groomed.
I
was of course aware that some of my friends and acquaintances on the
nudist circuit favoured the “smooth” look, whilst others opted for
what we used to call “The Clarkie”, after the slim, trimmed
moustache sported by Clark Gable.
We
even have one friend who chooses to dye hers various colours, one month
black, another blonde, the next auburn, and so on.
But
whilst I’m used to having hair ripped from along my bikini line for
those occasions when I’m unable to use a nudist beach, the thought of
grooming and styling my pubic hair into a fashion accessory just never
occurred to me.
Which
apparently makes me hopelessly unfashionable.
Because
these days it’s chic to strut your fluff.
Apparently
the latest pubic fashion is the “Beckham”, from Japan, where young
women trim and style their pubic hair after the hairstyle worn by David
Beckham, an England and Manchester United soccer superstar.
Just
in case you’re not familiar with this sporting icon, Beckham used to
tease his blonde locks into a sort of crest over the top of his head,
like a fish’s dorsal fin. Although he has since reverted to a more
floppy look, the dorsal fin style is the pubic cut of choice in Japan.
I
don’t think I’ll try this one personally. The crest can only be kept
in place by copious amounts of hair gel, which is very sticky. The
thought of pulling out most of my pubes every time I take off my
knickers does not appeal.
 Last
year’s craze was the ‘Brazilian’, because the ladies of Copacabana
Beach like to wear such miniscule thongs that they remove all of their
pubic hair except a small rectangle. My husband refers to this as the
‘landing strip’. But then he would.
This
is the style apparently endorsed by celebrities such as Gwynneth Paltrow,
Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, singer Jennifer Lopez and ex Spice
Girl Victoria Beckham amongst others, although I wonder whether Victoria
now sports a “Beckham” in support of husband David.
The poor girl certainly looks in pain.
And
now that pubic hair - and sometimes the lack of it
- has become a fashion item, the styles are changing from season
to season, just like clothes or shoes.
The
latest new style - so new that it doesn’t yet have a name - is a
variation on the Brazilian, with the hair shaped into tufts before being
dyed a colour of your choice.
But
the very hottest new look promises to be the “Tiffany”, where your
locks are sculpted and dyed into a plain blue square, in honour of the
jewellery store’s gift boxes.
Smoothies
can also join the fun.
For
instance, the Pout beauty store in London’s Covent Garden does a range
of sparkly stickers that are applied to the waxed and naked flesh and
spell out words like “Flirt” Apparently they stay on for about six
days, even in the shower.
Should
you prefer the more artistic look, you can buy stick on tattoos to
decorate your lower slopes from Body Candy.The comprehensive artwork ranges from animals, through hearts and
flowers, to tribal and wrist and ankle tattoos
although I couldn’t find any “No Entry”, or “Open Other
End” signs. No imagination, some people.
But
even more astonishing than the rise of pubic grooming in the beauty
arena is the growing use of nudity - again almost always female - as a
political tool. The widespread and continuing nude protests against a
war in the Middle East are likely to make the conflict remembered as a
“Bush” war in more ways than one.
It
is a little ironic that the growth of the pubic hair (no pun intended)
cult should have been fuelled by non - naturists. In a textile
environment, the opportunities for showing off your tuft, no matter how
artistically decorated, have to be very limited.
In
the naturist world, on the other hand, we are up against no such
limitations. Given that opportunities for most normal fashion
accessories disappear with our clothes, maybe this could become the next
BIG THING . Perhaps we can look forward to seeing fancy shapes, rainbow
colours, glitter or stick-on tattoos enlivening our camps and resorts.
Move over body painting, lets have an annual “Ms Strut Your Fluff”
competition with the first prize of a thousand pound pubic makeover.
Just
remember that you heard it hear first.
As
for me? Well, having waited so long for the damn stuff to arrive in the
first place, I can’t bring myself to go totally smooth.
But
maybe I could try a little something fancy for my club’s Valentines
Day party.
Perhaps
a little heart shaped number?
Now,
where's my
razor and shaving cream?
Regards
Liz
liz@thenudecafe.com
This article may not be published, copied, printed
transmitted or otherwise used without the written consent
of the author.)
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